My Play Page
This is the page I provide for those who are interested in "playing" with me - either on-line or in real life - to visit to find out more about my tastes in BDSM. However, it is meant primarily for those I've already met, and have directed here if they wish for specific information to help them prepare for scenes with me, or to help build our play relationship, or to decide if they wish to play with me at all. I'd rather not get e-mails regarding this from people I don't know, but if you do e-mail me, please be polite, and accept that I may not choose to reply. This page was put here for friendly, safe, sane, and consensual interactions only.
My basic nature in D/s
I have been a switch (alternately taking on the role of submissive and Dominant) both IRL and in on-line play for the past several years. I am still capable of, and even often enjoy, playing the Dom role on occasion...however, I have come to the conclusion that my abilities and needs lie most naturally with the submissive role. Because of this, and because I have already been in a RL relationship which failed partly due to my not being a true Dom to my collared sub, I've promised myself to only take on the subby role in any ongoing BDSM play relationship. However, I'd like any Dom/mes who may be interested in me know that I have no aversion to switching for them on occasion - I won't refuse an order to top, or even "play Dom", for them, if that is their desire (I'd also be a perfectly happy boy if I'm never asked to switch, so it's not something I *need*). IMO that makes me an atypical sub[g].
What I hope to find in a Dominant
These are some of the qualities I would greatly value in an ongoing relationship with a Dominant:
1) Someone who will consistently protect, counsel, and comfort me as needed, as well as when deserved.
2) Someone who is fundamentally kind and considerate, both to me and to others.
3) Someone who is willing, and able, to take a firm hand in disciplining me when I need and merit it - although I *very* rarely, if ever, truly do need or merit significant disciplinary actions.
4) Someone who is intelligent and creative, and who will appreciate and enjoy such qualities in me.
5) Someone who enjoys rewarding me, when it is deserved, with the attentions and indulgences that I need and crave - in other words, someone who does not solely take pleasure in having His or Her own needs met.
6) Someone who appreciates what I offer them - my respect, service, and devotion - and who can acccept that they may lose all three if they later prove that they don't deserve them (and don't make an effort to regain them). I recognise and expect that I may likewise lose a Dominant's gifts to me - their dedication and protection - if I should fail to continue deserving them.
What I think a Dominant will find in me
Okay, I really don't think it's mostly about me, me, me[g]! I wish to serve a good Dominant, and these are some of the things I feel confident a wise Dom/me will discover in me by allowing me to serve Him or Her:
1) Someone who will consistently seek to please and honor them, in the way they wish to be pleased and with the honor they have the right to receive.
2) Someone who is fundamentally kind and considerate, both to Dominants, fellow submissives, and "vanilla" folk.
3) Someone who has been trained in all aspects of serving as a submissive, yet expects to always be receptive to - and eager for - further training.
4) Someone who is intelligent and creative, and who appreciates and enjoys such qualities in others.
5) Someone who has self-respect, yet still is gladly willing to humble himself before a deserving Dominant.
6) Someone who greatly appreciates and cherishes what is offered to him by a Dominant he respects.
My particular likes in BDSM
These are some of my main "kinks" and interests in BDSM as a submissive:
1) Bondage and restraint - especially employing leather, but rope, tape, chains, brute force, and just about anything else is great with me[g].
2) Blindfolds....mmmm....a sure thing if you want a happy and horny subby as fas as I'm concerned.
3) Gags of all kinds, as long as there is caution used regarding choking hazards. A firm hand over my mouth, however, is undoubtedly my number one turnon.
4) Living out kidnap fantasies, and other "play" involving danger and threat, in a controlled scening environment.
5) Discomfort as well as mild to moderate pain. For example, being bound in uncomfortable positions, and/or using uncomfortable means; or controlled beatings with a strap, flogger, or similar device.
6) Scenes involving force or struggle with a Dominant, or having a Dominant order other subbies/involve other Dominants to force or manhandle me.
7) Inventive roleplaying: I enjoy, as a special treat, pre-planning and negotiating new and creative scenes of all kinds, as well as re-visiting favorite roles and fantasy situations.
8) Despite all of the rough stuff described above, I *do* greatly enjoy tenderness, expressions of love, slow and sensual touching, and *all* of that nice stuff. In fact, I probably spend more of my play time in such activities than I do with the rough stuff. Also, regarding rough play - I truly adore the babying and comforting I usually get afterward[g].
My hard limits
These are the things that will send me running for the hills, never to return again:
1) Nipple clamps or any severe, unrelenting, and/or excessive nipple torture. I tell nearly *every* play partner about this early on....so, why is it so many of them try to do it to me anyway? Sheesh. ;^)
2) Uncontrolled or excessive emotional or verbal abusiveness. For example, repeated uses of derogatory terms such as "slut", or excessive criticism when I don't deserve it. I can take most of this kind of thing within reason, but none of it does anything to turn me on. If that's your thing and you want to do it to a subby often, I'd make a lousy play partner for you.
3) Degradation. For example, ordering contact with urine or feces (although I *do* greatly enjoy rimming/being rimmed, there *are* these things called bathtubs and enemas[g]!), or treating me as less than human in a cruel, disdainful, and uncaring manner.
4) Mutilation, meaning basically any injury that is permanent. I *am* quite open to someday being formally branded or tatooed as a collaring symbol, but that would be acceptable to me only in a lifelong commitment to the "brander". Play injuries that heal without scars don't bother me, although I do stress safety IRL; however, I yearn for that precious comfort when they happen[g]! In real-life play, mild sprains are about my limit - after all, I don't have health insurance. ;^)
Guess I'll call these my soft limits
These are the main things that don't push any huge buttons for me, but which I *really* dislike. Generally, when a Dominant or someone else tries this stuff with me, they can expect I'll likely either get sulky, or act out unpleasantly (bringing out my *really* annoying brat side, rather than my impishly endearing brat[g]):
1) Excessive humiliation. For example: undeservedly making ill-humored fun of me, or clearly derogatory remarks about me, for a prolonged period of time, especially in public.
2) Ordering me to have sexual contact with someone I mistrust or significantly dislike. This is close to a hard limit in most cases.
3) Very noticeably ignoring or seriously neglecting me, without a good explanation as to why (like, hey, you're very busy and will look after me later[g]), for a prolonged period of time when I'm being very good.
This page was created
06/19/01.
This page was last updated 06/19/01.